U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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