Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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