I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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