Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
