Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
