Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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