are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
