better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
