I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
