ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
