Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
