At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
