a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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