Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
