It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
