yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
