I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
