Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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