Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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