Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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