You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
