he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
