so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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