ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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