is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
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