There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
