what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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