I wish my penis had an off switch
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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