I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
