did you get engaged???
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
