Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
