You're completely useless in the revolution.
I CAN MOONWALK!
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
