life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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