Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
