I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
