i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
