he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
