Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
My sheets look like a crime scene.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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