their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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