I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
