that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
