the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
