trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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