If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
