I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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