we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
