it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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