how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I think I am morally bankrupt
i think i have two assholes
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
