We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Randomize
