i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
