Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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